Saturday, 24 August 2013

secret: a list of things to think about when you can’t sleep

1.       wonder if you had any caffeine today, by accident. Dwell. Realise there is caffeine in tea (somehow, in your mind, caffeine is relegated to coffee and energy drinks)

2.       remind yourself not to panic about the no-sleeping thing

3.       do backwards maths about the alarm (ie my alarm goes off at 7, it’s 1.45am, that means I’ll get 5h 15min sleep if I drop off right now, which I won’t, because I’m...

4.      ... planning my wardrobe for my trip away next week, and accommodating all related trains of thought, for example, must do washing -> must buy drying rack -> must go downtown (when is good? Settle on Saturday afternoon after considering Friday lunchtime and Monday lunchtime) 

5.       reminding myself to pay rent and bills and book a ticket for the high school reunion

6.       realising you owe emails to no less than 3 ex-boyfriends and almost instantaneously realising that you don’t quite know what to say to any of them (this thought leads you to wonder how long a gap is rude when someone has broken your heart)

7.       remember that you didn’t plug the iPad in to charge; scrabble round in the dark for longer than sensible before turning the light on to assist with the task

8.       trying to figure out the best time to get mum to dye hair before the trip away

9.       think of the list of people to catch up with while away, spare a second or two of non-religious prayer that you won’t run into the ex who hasn’t been emailed in a timely fashion

10.  drink herbal insomnia remedy that tastes like dead ants, write down everything bothering you, turn light off and try again.


  1. Dear Helen Melon,
    I just wanted to say I love your ramblings. They make me giggle every time I read them. And by the way, my new solve everything miracle drug is Magnesium. Best thing ever for sleepless nights. You just pop one of those little babies before you go to bed and next thing you know its morning and your waking up. Last month it was Vitamin B, this month its magnesium. I love love love magnesium.

    1. oh thankyou lovely! mum swears by it too, so i guess i'll have to take all your advice and get into it, like all the cool kids are doing.

      and thanks for reading <3