#30daychallenge day 18: my beliefs

it's awkward when i feel like i've sort of already touched on this with day 4: my views on religion.

so i shall, at this point, wildly ad-lib some ideas and opinions (which could be transposed into beliefs). i ask of you, excuse the repeated use of the list format; i just find it easy to think aloud this way.

Nothing grates worse than someone who actively likes their life.

Don't be a dick about that though.

Except when you're shredding the gnar. Because everyone should do it. I believe this for true and forever.

1. people should do the best they can. try to be good as much as possible, and i don't mean good like making your bed and never having old teacups in your room. i mean like, don't waste your tiny amount of time on the planet arguing and complaining. do the things that make you happy, but also, step back and let other people do the things that make them happy.
2. don't ever talk in a complainy voice; not even as a joke. 
3. it's hard to get the balance of cynicism and realism right, but try.
4. you'll never regret dressing up crazy in opshop clothes, but dressing boring every day may just kill ya.
5. be prepared to be amazed by stuff. by this i mean, stuff you were wrong about, like pop music, or pop rocks, or popsicles.
6. have fun being an adult. try to do something every now and then that you used to fantasise about doing when you were a kid waiting to be an adult. like i don't know, drinking beer in the daytime, staying up late watching moves, telling people your opinion about things like it matters.
7. Remember that things are fleeting and you have to be brave.

yolo, motherfuckers.

#30daychallenge day 9: what you hope your future will be like

I feel as though I probably touched on the things I want in my "10 year plan" numbered list; I was going to tongue-in-cheek it and have a rant on hoverboards in manner of Seth Sentry...

However, I have actually been doing some reading and subsequent thinking on the topic of My Future and probably have a few stray thoughts to offer on the topic. Be warned though, no final conclusion shall occur. 

I honestly didn't think I'd get to 27 years of age and still have so many possibilities ahead of me, rather than plans and commitments. I actually expected the commitments to come first, providing some shape to the plans in the form of tangible limiting factors.

Funny how the limiting factors I've come across so far (each time, expecting them to stick and each time being wrong) have been the boys I've had relationships with. Each of them saw me making a physical move (either to be with, or to escape from... Or to wish for a time machine to go with that hoverboard so I could go back and stay put) and now, here I stand, sad and free.

My mistake, perhaps, for harbouring the misguided belief that you make such grandiose gestures and decisions for the one you love ... "And I poured my heart out/ it evaporated, see?"

My future may look any number of ways. As my friend Karin pointed out, I might meet a nice Swedish guy next year when I move to Sweden (that's where you find them, apparently). My mum would kill me. 

I'm starting to wonder if maybe my future might look a little different from how I expected. Every couple of months I seem to shift my world view, plans and ideologies slightly. 

I hope I continue along this road of brutal and honest self motivation though. I've been reading up on why 30 is not the new 20- more on this to follow- and while I'm sure I've got more realisations ahead, I'm already working on creating some momentum. Are you? 

I asked my friend Ellie over the weekend what she thought I was going to be when I grew up. She wasn't sure, so I put it to you, blogosphere: what do you think my future should look like?

treasure: postscript thoughts, notes and the F-word

well, shit. thanks friends, for all the sharing and nice words and interest in my last post. It caught me a bit by surprise as mostly I just talk to myself, seeing the blog as a way for you to listen in if you ever feel like it.

I've been a bit tentative about posting opinion pieces before, but it's actually a huge release to hold onto something that pisses you off for so long until you can't not write about it, put it out there and have people agree with you. Whew.

The title, "We need Feminism because ... " was inspired by the recent photo collection put together of Cambridge University students on campus, putting together their own signage. Some very compelling ideas worthy of their own separate discussions.

Since posting a piece which I labelled a 'rant', calling myself a 'Feminist', I've been thinking a bit more about Feminism, or the F-word. Tricky territory. A few months back now, I went to a debate organised at the university for Blue Stocking Week entitled "The problem with feminists is that they can't take a joke". I've been thinking about this ever since.

As a woman with an Arts degree majoring in Gender Studies, I have definitely been one of those feminists who wasn't big on the taking of sexist jokes (we really have to assume these are the kinds of jokes in question). However, the debate tended to focus on the Feminist stereotype, and I'm sure you all know what I mean- bra-burning, hairy-legged man haters who aspire to world domination and men banished from the planet. So Feminism becomes the F-word; girls and women are quick to clarify that they're not feminists, before they become the punchline of a joke.

I call myself a Feminist, and this is how I exercise this label, as applied to me: I'm 27 and unmarried, free to use birth control, believe in a woman's right to choose, am pursuing further education, work to support myself, spend my money how I please, spend my time doing things I enjoy (some of which have no conceivable contribution to society), have actively involved myself in contributing to society, have various different friendship circles (including other single independent women and also unattached men of a similar age), have developed my own politics and life philosophy. I make big and small decisions based on what I want my life to look like. I do all these things wearing what I want. I encourage others to do the same, and I'm aware that as a white, educated woman, I am incredibly fortunate compared with those in other parts of the world. I am knowingly lucky, and try my best to make the most of all this opportunity. I do my best to exercise compassion and care for others, regardless of our similarities or our differences. Actually, if you read any of my blog besides this post it becomes increasingly obvious I'm quite a normal, silly person.

I believe women and men should be equal. In the world in which we all live, sometimes they are, and sometimes they aren't.

If any of this list applies to you (particularly the last part), well then, you're probably a feminist too. Oops.

Feminists look however they want to look (I think that's the point, just quietly). Let's get over it, shall we? This stereotype, I think, is motivated to distract from discussing actual issues. I hope everyone else's mums taught them not to judge a book by its cover too, and you're pickin' up what I'm puttin' down here.

My call to action in my past blog was mainly about men being aware of women and their sense of safety. It's a tiny thing, but could be huge, in other ways, if we ran with it. The world is your oyster! Honestly, the very best to come of what I've said would really be some conversation; men and women sitting down together with a cup of tea or a glass of wine and talking about these sorts of things. Mmmm- in my head it's all warm and fuzzy when I think of the beautiful simplicity of this.

My other call to action was about teaching our sons to respect women. Weirdly, after posting my blog the other night, I found that one of my very favourite bloggers, Pip Lincolne, had in fact taken it upon herself to get together a group of bloggers who are mothers of boys, and write about their sons. I loved what she wrote- you can read it here. Mrs Smith wrote a bit of a lovely one, as did mogantosh.

This is what I meant, written with far more motherly authority than I can muster as a non-parent. These sorts of writings fill me with happiness and hope for the next generations, as long as we don't completely lose sight of this now and fuck it up. So let's not do that, and let's do the other thing instead.

secret: the start of the list

some things on my list- are they so much to ask?

someone who gets it

Someone who laughs at/with me

Someone who can read

Just what it says on the box

Someone who makes me laugh

Someone who makes creations for me, including paper flowers

Someone who's ok with their sensitive side/can knit scarves

Someone who makes my heart go all giddy and ridiculous

Someone who can Adventure

Someone who can make a bit of conversation

secret: general lack thereof

kids, i think i actually have no secrets. slight anxiety.

since i came here, since i let go of the boring, blandness of it all (not that i didn't choose it for myself), of the working and the gym-going and the careful calculations, the planning and the writing of lists, the desire to start screaming randomly mid-conversation, yes, since i left all that, i am somewhat an open book.

my blog is really only answers to questions i wish people would ask me, but i'm not all cut up about it, it's just really to practice writing so when i get started on Real Writing, i have some material.

i don't care if you know i love pop music, i don't care if my jokes are stupid, i don't care what you think of what i wear or where i work, i don't care if you have a problem with my drinking habits.

i don't care if you know i am in love with you, not really. although i guess i'm not going to publish names, but if you really need to know, i will have no hesitation in telling you.

i don't care that i haven't immersed myself in one night stands since i've been single. i don't care who knows that i haven't had any action since may last year.

i'm daggy, i make lame jokes, i'm awkward about doing nice things for people even though i do nice things for people all the time, about physical affection unless i really really love you like my brother/sister, i should exercise more and shave my legs more often, and probably wax my eyebrows. but

i. do. not. care.

there you are, there you have it. i'm enlightened.

and right now i really fucking love beyonce.

secret: too much sugar makes me overshare

i work at a supermarket, well i've given notice, so in a week i will no longer work there, but that is not the point- the point is right now, i work in a supermarket.

i worked there today. i also worked at my other job, the thrift store, which meant that i worked from 9.30am to 10.15 pm. not ideal.

to compensate i ate too much sugar.

then about 8.30pm i started telling personal things to total strangers (customers) and giggling in a somewhat hysterical manner at my own jokes, which were disjointed at best, and mostly competely random.

i wish i could be a bit cooler sometimes, that's all.