this month has been one of those months where everything happens. there's been a bit of a run of bad things this week, but i'd prefer to keep them to myself- the people who need to know have my list.
i've been mentally preparing for this post the last few days, but today it doesn't seem right to write another bullet-pointed expose into my life. i've been thinking a lot of my online life vs. my real time life, and how well someone who is connected to me online actually knows me.
i've been thinking about this in part because my ex observed to me in an email on the weekend that it looks like things are going really well for me. they are, in the grand scheme, but it really drives the fact home to me that my Facebook life (and even my blog life) are really not representative of a whole life. you can't read between the lines and know everything about me from these things. the real life friends have sat down with me over coffee, wine, beer, breakfast and talked to me. asked me questions. listened to my wandering rantings.
it makes me wonder though, just what place angst has on the internet. i certainly don't go out of my way to read it, and try not to write it anymore than necessary; angst balanced out with humour is probably the most acceptable form, i think. tavi gevinson (yep, her) talked in her opera house appearance about how negative emotions are glorified as a creative force, and how she struggled with creating anything at all when she was having some personal battles. i think she's right, in the face of all my processes. it's harder to write the sort of thing a person might like to read when your heart is very very heavy.
how to be a writer, and explore the scope of humanity, without putting you all off with ALL of the feelings?
how to be an online presence, a Facebook bookfacer, and be honest? it's weird. it's very weird.
i have enjoyed putting myself through this 30 day challenge, for everywhere i go it seems the advice for writers from other more successful writers is to write every day. so write i have, and have been rewarded with your interest. thanks for reading, for dropping by, for your comments. that's certainly been one of the highs of this month.
big love to all.