Thursday, 19 January 2012

treasure: anticipation

the awesome moment when it's barely any sleeps til you get to see your brother...

there have been many things in my life that i have been excited about, drinking in the fluttery feelings in the belly when you know something is an inevitability...

christmas day, my first kiss, the last day of school, the last harry potter book (and movie), opening day 2010/2011... and of course so many more, often highschool moments fraught with angst to heighten the whole drama of it.

so many times it is not quite what you expect it to be, this huge event; in your mind it grows arms, legs and teeth, until it takes up all but the smallest part of your vision. afterwards and looking back, all those times before were wonderful in ways i had not seen when i imagined them. i'm a compulsive imaginer of events before they happen... it's the one reason i hold out hope i might be able to pin down my flighty attention span and order it to co-operate, to write a novel, or even, hey, a short story.

so often your expectations are misplaced. sometimes that's your fault, and sometimes it's santa claus's. or maybe an eager 15 year old who cannot seem to stop salivating (the well-known "washing machine effect"... bless, he probably didn't know any better). sometimes it's even better than you could have thought... although *spoiler alert* i do wish J.K. Rowling hadn't put the "20 years later" chapter in, and i really wish they hadn't digitally aged everyone in the movie.

my point here is that 2010/2011 opening day was everything i could have hoped for, the last day of school was just the right amount of champagne breakfast, tearful graduation and laying about in the park in the spring sunshine.

my brother is about to arrive in canada, and i don't even have to worry about losing him on the mountain or teaching him to ride, because he's been here before! i don't have to talk him into trying a caesar at dustys, because he already knows they're fucking awesome. and he sometimes laughs at my jokes, which is the most i ever hope for anyway...

we are going to have a fun time, marred only slightly by the fact that our other brother won't be present. because all of us together in whistler would be a joyful time indeed.

i am full up to the brim with the anticipation of the nice times ahead.

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