Wednesday, 11 January 2012

secret: failings

i have no patience at all for having found myself in my current situation, which is:

wide-a-fucking-wake, when i've made plans to be up super early tomorrow for breakfast up the mountain.

i'm not an adult right now, i'm a seriously bitter individual who is watching her boyfriend sleep. not in a romantic way, not even in a creepy way, but in a passive-aggressive way which makes me envy and therefore resent him for being able to sleep.

it doesn't even bother him that the light is on and i am typing away at a keyboard. he is blissfully unaware. what sort of freak isn't woken up by the slightest sounds and the smallest change in the light?

i've always been a troubled sleeper. every few months i have an extended period of insomnia that neither hell nor high water can shift. so i sit comfily in my insomniac state, peacefully certain that it's ok for me to be hating on everyone who sleeps, even when they're the one i love most of all.

i wish i could rise above the hate, but right now, i can't.

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