Friday, 28 May 2010

secret: about how i fall in love so easily

i was out at a bar and i fell in love with 3 people.

then i came home and sat up late reading old journals.

i fall in love with everyone, and as a result feel as though i am perpetually missing out.

i blame imagination. if only i had read less books as a child, and fried more braincells with television... damn my parents and damn my wholesome country upbringing. so not only do i fall in love but i imagine and create a life for us, together, one where we take walks and kiss on chairlifts in the falling snow, and laugh at each other's jokes and share each other's sweaters.

back up a little, the guy only poured you a jug of beer because he is a bartender and that is his JOB. sigh.
what i love and want and miss right now:

  • my blue knitted sweater from home that was once my dad's

  • eve and yanni and staying back at bar etiquette, swaying drunkenly after hours

  • my long hair that i had when i was 21

  • hugh, and our unexpected significant conversations

i sort of hate and love how time makes you realise just how good things were, and you didn't even know- you never seem to know at the time, looking from the inside out.

1 comment:

  1. loved that hair helen, but love you without it too. loved the blue knitted jumper. i feel so nostalgic reading these posts, like they're secrets that i was in on too.

    kept writing, keep loving. and don't worry...the hole doesn't like... close up or anything (remember, i've been there...)