Today is one of those good days they speak about.
I'm writing this here as a souvenir, so when there are the less good days I can remember that there are good days like this. It's a good day in the best way. It's calm and sure with guest appearances of euphoria. I luxuriate in the feeling of being both safe and powerful. Yes thankyou, planet. I'll take it.
I slept, flanked by the warm bodies of small dogs who most days seem to exist just to ply me with love. I watched a beautiful interview between Elisabeth Moss and Riz Ahmed, laying in bed - I woke up to artists I admire speak about their art while my brain put its day together.
I had my milky coffee and my vegemite toast just the way I like, with tofu on top, warm and crispy.
The puppies slept in while I got ready to work - they never sleep in, but today they loved my bed more than anything, and if I hadn't had to work I would have been right there with them. Sleepy kid-dogs watching my get-ready routine with the bemusement of those who know they're going right back to sleep when I've left the house was a small and precious treasure.
I wore the pretty skirt with flowers. I wore a pin that says "Born to Read". I shared my pin to Instagram. I wore new lipstick I bought last night when I got my hair cut. My haircut gave me that 'in control of my destiny' feeling.
I started my drive to work with the 'One Love Manchester' playlist. There was a little Mumford and Sons, then I skipped through Take That and Robbie Williams to Pharrell's 'Happy'. The crowd sang along, and I imagined the feeling of being in Manchester, after everything, and listened to those voices singing, and imagined, and then teared up. Still driving. I switched to my newest love, St. South - I got my shit well and truly together by the time I got to work.
I spoke about a project that's going to be awesome when we pull it off (we talked through the doubts and milestones to meet in the next week, and agreed on things).
I did my first academic speaking gig, and I didn't suck. I spoke more quickly than I wanted to, but I let myself off, because people had suggestions and questions and good things to say afterwards. I ate vegan cake my supervisor baked, and I soaked up the rest of the good ideas. I had emails from people with more ideas! They liked my ideas and suggested things for me to read next!
I helped my boss wrap gifts for upcoming international travel, and we talked on and around about the things I'd just talked about in my seminar. My heart was full of warm thoughts and ideas - the lived reality of research and ideas, all those exciting juicy bits. The world is open and full of possibility.