
Wednesday, 30 March 2011
travel: newcastle

Wednesday, 16 March 2011
treasure: poems from 2010
broken upside down
missed beats and popped buttons
i love you
i can't help it
it makes me furious.
love is the loneliest
empty hands
a pain in my stomach
bitey pins and needles.
why else would i drink til i forgot?
and the holding of breath does me no good
and the suspense of disbelief
takes the ground from underneath
until up is down
until up is down.
i cannot invent a single thing
i guess and grab at hollowed-out hope
i question the choices
that have put me, malleable, into your willing, working, worried hands.
i love you. i cannot help it.
it makes me furious.
a list, july 13
i want to write stories
i want to move to Banff
i want to own a car i can road trip in and drive in winter
i want a dog
i want to stop falling in love with every nice boy
i want to sell all the stuff i don't use
i want to ride a downhill bike
i want to see Melbourne again just for one week
i want to visit the US for Thanksgiving
i want to move to Revelstoke
i want to play my guitar everywhere, all the time
i want to go out every wednesday night
i want to go dancing once a week
i want to live out of a suitcase
i want to tell everyone what i think of them
i want
i want
i want
24 november 2010
i'm collecting;
i have pockets and handfuls of reasons and excuses but no way of getting myself an answer.
you leave me to draw a blank
on my own blank slate
ornate unknowing
i cannot get further than clueless.
we're really just
swimming in and out of handshakes
making the best
make a no into a yes
treading water, and choking on my smile
daydreaming my way right into car accidents.
travel: Melbourne

- summer. Yep, the sunshine, the general light, air, warmth, blue skies, green grass... not to be underrated in the slightest. It was humid, I did fear that I might melt, but I got through it mostly in tact. The morning I left Whistler, the lovely token Candian Lisa (whom I really do love, lots) came to pick me and and we got the car, sort of, accidentally caught in the 17cm of snow that had fallen the night before... coming from that to Australian summer in all its glory was delightful, if a little shocking (don't worry, i had tow-truck connections, and we were rescued in time to get me to the airport... happy day!).
- acting the faux student at the highly prestigious (read: full-of-itself) University of Melbourne. I was once lucky enough to be allowed to be an Arts Student there (and let's face it, isn't an Arts student a faux student anyway?), people watching all the absolute hotties that are laying about in the sunshine, just, y'know, learnin' shit ... It's a fashion parade. That was why I never really fit in there. I refuse to wear heels to uni. Heels?!?! But the boys are darn attractive, i'll give 'em that.
- the coffee, ohmyfuckingod the coffee. North America, give it up. your coffee does not even deserve to be in the same UNIVERSE as the coffee of Melbourne. Religious experience.
- the amazing bread selection at Queen Victoria Market. just grand.
- a lazy day in bed with Thea, my lovely, who cooked me the best breakfast ever, with much bacon (because again, North America, your bacon is a travesty) and then let me lay about admiring her new house/room/ bed specifically and the one-eyed cat who i'm pretty certain believes he's her boyfriend.
- vege bar tastiness with willow and laila... and the breakfast/second breakfast catchup the next morning too... ohhh coffee mmmmmm
- my hostess with the mostest, beth, whom i love and who, joyfully, is coming to visit ME in less than a month.... wahoo i say!
Melbourne certainly felt familiar and friendly, with many close friends to see and catch up with. But I confess: it's not home no more.
It was joyous and rewarding to see my friends Mat and Tash, who are about to have a bebe all of their own, who I was relieved and pleased to realise really DON'T hate me despite the fact I left their best friend (the ex) high and dry and moved to Canadia.
It was great to be at uni too, for a second (oh, i also saw the black swan, boy is THAT a messed up movie) but I do not belong there. I don't dress well enough, like I said, and this is a pattern repeated all over town. It's all fashionistas and hipsters and fuck, i just like my hoodie/denim/sorels/toque combo. it's how i roll, right?
with some careful thought (not really, i've barely had time to pick up a beer, let alone a pen) I think that maybe no, Melbourne is not for me.
so on to the next place in search of an answer to the vaguely annoying question that has been haunting me of late: am I over Whistler yet? is there somewhere else i'd rather be?
And i just realised while typing this that I forgot to have dumplings. Fuck.
Thursday, 3 March 2011
secret: 10 minute blog

i am just about to go out with my lovely girls, to have beer and then dance our night away at bill's. i haven't been at bill's since australia day.
it's trashy, and sordid, and sometimes the music is unacceptably bad (as opposed to acceptably bad, which i find most pop music to be) but i love it there.
and it's snowy, and i have been granted a late start tomorrow, so i can go riding until midday...
and i am doing fresh tracks, which means getting up mega early and getting in an extra half hour on the hill, with other friends and their parents (who, in a twist to the story, are friends of MY parents).
and after friday, i do not have to work for close to a month.
because i am going back to australia on saturday.
these reasons, and many more, give me a simple kind of happiness and satisfaction that money can't buy...
and that is my ten minute blog.
now i have to go warm up my dancing muscles. so i can whip my hair back n forth.
chyeah i did.