July 3 - Sia, "Elastic Heart" [feat The Weeknd and Diplo]

I have so many reasons to love this one in particular, but it's really about Sia - as I recently observed on Facebook, she is my spirit animal. Of course I currently can't stop with "Chandelier" either, and have pre-ordered the shit out of her upcoming album '1000 Forms of Fear'. She's written ALL the songs, too - not only her own albums, but money-makers for Rihanna, Beyonce, David Guetta ... she's lent hooks to Eminem and Hilltop Hoods, plus more, I'm sure of it.

I also just recently found out she's actually an Aussie - you may well scoff at my lack of knowing of things, my housemates did - but I think it's because Sia started to get better known while I was overseas and stuck in the "hiphop/dubstep/stuff I could steal from my friends" musical loop. That's my story. Anyway, all her being Australian means is that I can include her in my 'Local'-themed Week 1 of this challenge.

"Elastic Heart" is part of the 'Catching Fire' soundtrack. I am part of the Hunger Games fanbase. It's entirely possible I saw it twice at the cinema in the space of a week, I can neither confirm nor deny. The soundtrack definitely didn't suck, and I probably own it.

I really truly got into this tune early this year (I believe it was around the 10th of January, actually) as I collected my van from the mechanic in Gloucester (I don't want to talk about it) and started my way up the hill in the summer heat. It was just me, which I see as a green light to turn up the volume and bellow away to my heart's content. So I completely owned this song by the time I got to the top of the hill, sweaty with a lack of air conditioning and a slightly uneasy feeling about whether I'd make it home.

I like how epic it is - it takes up a lot of space, vocally and emotionally. And the lyrics... so many feels.

"And another one bites the dust
Oh why can I not conquer love
And I might have thought that we were one
Wanted to fight this war without weapons

And I wanted it, I wanted it bad
But there were so many red flags
Now another one bites the dust
Yeah let's be clear, I'll trust no one"

Love stinks. But the chorus is basically like, I've got an elastic heart, so I'll be fine. Which is how I also feel. It's a partly sad inspirational tune. I feel I believe it more when there's a touch of melancholy. Gives it grit and credibility.

Listen to more Sia. Listen to this version of "Breathe Me" and this awkward shower-scene acapella version of "Titanium" ... because every post needs a touch of Pitch Perfect.

You're welcome.



Wondering what I'm up to? Here's the 'why'.

Friday Feminism: the means and the will

I started off thinking this week's idea was a bit on the flaky side, mainly because what I want to talk about is a bit on the gender stereotype side of the spectrum, and I want to be all "yeah! feminism makes me tough! no hurdle too big!" etc.

But then I thought, really, this Friday theme is meant to be addressing anything and everything that catches my fancy; it's ultimately meant to be applying my feminism to all the things in the world. And this week's particular thing has been independence. 

I got to thinking about how some things shouldn't be a big deal, but they are for me. I started realising that actually, for other people, the things I think are silly to make a fuss over are actually a huge, huge deal in terms of autonomy and empowerment.

Enough of the mystery though, I'll tell you what I mean exactly: I'm talking about mechanical stuff and things. I'm also talking about life skills. And I'm talking about education and self-education, and expectations.

So this week I paid my car registration. Not only did I pay my car registration, I sorted out the green slip, and the big news was I changed the name of the owner on the van so it is now MY name. Yes, that's right, I officially own Maude the Mazda. Me, an owner of a car. Things are crazy.

Craziest ever was that until this week, I had no idea how it all worked. The fact that a green slip is separate from registration. That you have to go see a mechanic first. That all this stuff costs money. Why didn't I know this stuff? The simplest answer is that I've never owned a car before, and so why would I know it? But then I wonder: when do other people learn this stuff? Have I failed to be listening to the right information at the right time? Was there a day in highschool where they talked us through basic car ownership procedure? 

Methinks no, there was not. 

With me, and I don't know about you all, but the longer I go without knowing something, the bigger the stumbling block it becomes for me to learn it. It took me 10 years to learn to drive a manual car after I had my license, because I somehow managed to get around it for that long, all the while developing an inordinate fear of gear-changing.

Now, I totally rule at gear changes and really love driving a manual. Because it's the best, obviously.

Something clicks over when you own and can competently drive a car. Suddenly, you have this heady power at your fingertips. This is what I mean by 'the means and the will'. My lesson, learned over a stretched out period of time, is that the more ability you have, the more you want. It's sort of like how snowboarding was. Once you have beaten down the voices in your head that say 'you can't drive that van, that van is too hard for you to drive' or 'you can't go down that slope, it's too steep for you to manage' or 'you don't know how to do that, so just stay home with a nice cup of tea and read your book, would you?' ... once you challenge those voices and the scary part is over, the feeling of power and self-satisfaction is immense.

So this week was maybe no so much about being a woman, but about being an adult and grabbing onto great power (and great responsibility).

Anyone else had a thing like this? A thing they let someone else do for them for a long time before learning how to do it themselves?

 

30pictureschallenge: Day 10

I've never been very good at sharing a bed. That seems to me to be one of the crappy parts of being an adult, that you have to share your bed with someone who might steal your covers away, or sleep in a star shape while you struggle to hold in to your little bit of space.

Because I have so much trouble with sleeping, I am pretty damn particular about such things. Amongst the many wonderful things of singledom is the wonderful thing of having my bed to myself. 

I took this photo of the magical space that is the bed in the back of my awesome van, Maude the Mazda. On account of the amount of whiskey I needed to drink to deal with Tony Abbott becoming Australia's Prime Minister, I was unable to drive home on election night (this wasn't an accidental thing, let the record show). I parked my lovely Maudie outside Paddy's house on a flat spot and had a little sleepover. 

I'd recently added a few important elements to the bed- the multicoloured rug was a score from an op-shop, as was the lacy pillowslip. It is my intention to furnish Maude with floral sheets as soon as possible, and maybe a little spot to secure my book, notepad and pen so they do not disappear into the bedding.

That bed is one of my particular favourites. In the morning, the sun comes through the pink curtains and gives everything that rose-coloured wonder that on this particular morning was quite perpendicular to the Australian political situation. When you awake, well-rested despite (or perhaps due to) the amount of whiskey imbibed, and you are in a warm rosy world, you are able to feel a little joy in your heart. Fact.

secret: an update on my july challenge: rediscovered lady tunes (and some pretty awesome covers, too)

So my July challenge is to dedicate a month of my music-listening time to women. I'm thankful I've already had some great suggestions and have already put a few of them onto my (hopefully one day) infamous Maude's Mix CDs (for the van).

Week One was wonderful (hah, that just reminded me of that move, That Thing You Do, where the band wants to call themselves the One-ders and they have to be convinced to instead settle on the Wonders). I spent some quality youtube time at the start of the week, I made a girls-only gym mix for my iPod and a girls-only driving mix for Maude-travel-times. The hit of youtube was this cover by the lovely Sarah Blackwood who is also know as the lovely blonde part of Walk off the Earth.



I think it's just lovely, especially since I love Weezer so. I made it track one on the CD, which means unless I skip it (and why on earth would I do that?) I hear it every time I start the van. Well, once I eject and re-insert the CD into the CD player. High tech all up in here.

Some thoughts and queries so far:
Can women rock out? Like really, lose-their-minds, rockstar cool styles? There's some incredible strength in the women I've been listening to in Week One; the range and emotion in Florence Welch's voice, the soul and mystery (with goosebumps) of Lana Del Ray; the heart-on-the-sleeve of Tegan and Sara. Haim are pretty good listening too. But I'm yet to be quite sure. Still on my list are PJ Harvey, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs (I saw them live and now love Karen O a little bit, without knowing a lot about her), Sleater Kinney (because I have a growing admiration of Carrie Brownstein after reading this interview), Patti Smith, The Donnas and Neko Case. Just to name a few.

Week Two is about the golden oldies. They'll get a write-up on the weekend.

Also: I think I need to buy a stereo.

treasure: my van, and travel

I was given a van to call my own last year when I arrived back in the country. I think this van was a bribery of sorts, to encourage me and my boyfriend at the time to stay in Australia, to adventure and explore. It spoke to my imagination, and so I started to make plans.

I stop to wonder now and then if it was the plan making which served to drive a wedge of sorts between myself and said ex. For I would guess there is nothing quite so truly terrifying as being confronted with a determined girl such as myself, full of ideas and plans, when you yourself have no idea what you want; where to go, what to do, who to be?

Planning for me is kind of a comfort. It means I am reassured that I will never be stuck, as it's always a flavour of escape I am planning. I planned for trips around Australia, across Great Deserts and to stop and rest quietly by beaches, to be nestled in bush or tucked in quietly among the families at a caravan park somewhere. The peace of sitting side by side with a loved one, listening to CD's (CD's! How retro!) and arguing good naturedly about what music to listen to next.

I feel a little sad to know my life in the van is not to happen quite this way- although we had some beautiful times on little camps around the place, we never journeyed far from home, never got to use the van to her full potential. Not together.

I've avoided the van for the past few months, a symbol of failed love and lost potential; much how I felt about the relationship with Aaron ending. Plus, I'd built up quite the mental block about driving a manual car, having never owned one or really driven one before. I wondered if I even wanted the van anymore. I realised that I did when a friend asked me one day what was going to happen with the van, in that tone which indicates a certain interest, to be followed fairly quickly by an offer to take the vehicle off my hands.

At that moment I realised I didn't want to let go of the chance for adventures, the kind you can only have in an awesome van such as she. And after camping a night in her for a party, I decided it was time to give her more of my love and attention. I had my first driving lesson the next day, and once I get over my fear of hill starts I'm confident I'll be fine.

I'll build up slowly to Going Somewhere. I'm not sure how I'll put out the awning at night time- I'm not really tall enough. There are some things I'll have to learn to do, like where to check the oil, how to park, how to pack things away safely so they don't come away going down windy hills, and more, I'm sure. I think she needs a name; currently I'm pretty fond of Maude the Mazda, as I plan to "renovate" her in the style of little old lady. I'm thinking floral seat covers, rose-patterned curtains with lace sewn on, patchwork quilt on the bed... (favourite ideas on display below).

As for where I'll go, I'm hoping to go down the coast to Melbourne, pop over to Tasmania, then maybe across as far as Adelaide if I haven't run out of enthusiasm by then. There's a place alongside me for a friend to come and share the driving and the cooking and the petrol money and the bed (very comfy, comfiest ever really) and the joys and the sorrows and the planning too. This person doesn't have to be a partner-type friend, unless I find myself amenable to sexy times in a van, but they have to be someone who likes to plan and adventure. No other sort need apply.