treasure: poems from 2010

a love poem, june 16

broken upside down
missed beats and popped buttons
i love you
i can't help it
it makes me furious.
love is the loneliest
empty hands
a pain in my stomach
bitey pins and needles.

why else would i drink til i forgot?
and the holding of breath does me no good
and the suspense of disbelief
takes the ground from underneath
until up is down
until up is down.

i cannot invent a single thing
i guess and grab at hollowed-out hope
i question the choices
that have put me, malleable, into your willing, working, worried hands.
i love you. i cannot help it.
it makes me furious.



a list, july 13

i want to write stories
i want to move to Banff
i want to own a car i can road trip in and drive in winter
i want a dog
i want to stop falling in love with every nice boy
i want to sell all the stuff i don't use
i want to ride a downhill bike
i want to see Melbourne again just for one week
i want to visit the US for Thanksgiving
i want to move to Revelstoke
i want to play my guitar everywhere, all the time
i want to go out every wednesday night
i want to go dancing once a week
i want to live out of a suitcase
i want to tell everyone what i think of them
i want
i want
i want





24 november 2010

i'm collecting;
i have pockets and handfuls of reasons and excuses but no way of getting myself an answer.

you leave me to draw a blank
on my own blank slate
ornate unknowing
i cannot get further than clueless.

we're really just
swimming in and out of handshakes
making the best
make a no into a yes
treading water, and choking on my smile
daydreaming my way right into car accidents.