treasure: myself and my sanity

sometimes you just have to concede that 'most everything is completely out of your control.

• i cannot make people think what i want them to think


• i cannot create favorable circumstances for myself


• i cannot control the weather


• i cannot make boys fall in love with me.

if i were to complain, these would be some of the things. these are all rather immediate concerns though, and i guess i've tried to think about it in a somewhat mature manner (as mature as a person who wears tshirts saying things like "beer: it's what's for dinner" can be).

the wisdom that whistler has given me is the realisation that i'm alright, as far as people go. and so i will do alright in this world.

people will think what they want to think, and the less i have to do with their twisted little minds the better.

the weather is just generally wet and so it will continue for the next 6 weeks or more, and i just gotta suck it up.

and as for boys, well, the mantra i'm working on is that there are nice human beings out there who aren't solely swayed by breasts, legs and coquettish laughter at everything they say. there are boys who enjoy these qualities, and then there are men who appreciate them but hopefully realize that being friends with the person you love rates a lot higher. men who approach this whole relationship thing with enough wisdom to recognize the wonder of meeting someone who always makes you laugh, or at least smile.

have to say i haven't got much faith in this mantra just now, but that's why it's a mantra, right? the more times i repeat it, the more strength it will hold for me.

i've really had it beaten into me the last few weeks just how important it is to keep people around you who you love and who love you, who actively want the best for you. without people around us, everything is so much more lonely.

i am lucky to have some wonderful friends who never make me feel like anything is demanded of me, like choosing sides, or letting unacceptable behaviour slide... these are the ones i will want to be writing letters to even when i am 85. these are the ones i'd do anything for.

i learn so much from all of you. and i'm grateful.

deep, huh?