i was out at a bar and i fell in love with 3 people.
then i came home and sat up late reading old journals.
i fall in love with everyone, and as a result feel as though i am perpetually missing out.
i blame imagination. if only i had read less books as a child, and fried more braincells with television... damn my parents and damn my wholesome country upbringing. so not only do i fall in love but i imagine and create a life for us, together, one where we take walks and kiss on chairlifts in the falling snow, and laugh at each other's jokes and share each other's sweaters.
back up a little, the guy only poured you a jug of beer because he is a bartender and that is his JOB. sigh.
what i love and want and miss right now:
- my blue knitted sweater from home that was once my dad's
- eve and yanni and staying back at bar etiquette, swaying drunkenly after hours
- my long hair that i had when i was 21
- hugh, and our unexpected significant conversations
i sort of hate and love how time makes you realise just how good things were, and you didn't even know- you never seem to know at the time, looking from the inside out.
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loved that hair helen, but love you without it too. loved the blue knitted jumper. i feel so nostalgic reading these posts, like they're secrets that i was in on too.
ReplyDeletekept writing, keep loving. and don't worry...the hole doesn't like... close up or anything (remember, i've been there...)